The arc of development, for skillsets and equipment, eventually reaches a point where, instead of adding more features, the process starts trimming down to the minimum necessary elements to complete the task. The phrase, “everything you need, nothing you don’t” has travelled through more than one special operations unit, and it differs from the minimalism of backpackers in that some things cannot be accomplished by a multitool. The Dank Robber chest rig by Unobtanium Gear represents this principle in load-bearing gear by combining distinctly capable capacity with a distinct lack of bulk.
Primarily constructed of elastic, the Dank Robber carries 3 rifle-type magazines, and has 3 pouches that take pistol mags, flashlights, multitools, or a small knife. Flanking the body, on the left there’s a purpose-built radio attachment point, and on the right, a spot to carry a smoke canister or contained medical kit. Threaded into the bottom, two bungee chords loops for a TQ for a complete kit.
Unobtanium Gear lists the rifle mag sleeves as 5.56 pouches, but they will take AK mags. PPC mags, however, slip through the opening in the bottom so they’ll be restricted to the pistol pouches. The Dank Robber’s primary mode of retention is the elastic, which effectively contains the loadout. Blades will require some DIY ingenuity to keep the sheath from sliding out with the knife. The Toor Knives/Haley Strategic Darter ships with a Ulticlip which does the trick.
Above: B&T APC9/GHM9 mags, Toor Knives/Haley Strategic Darter, Veil Solutions Baofeng Radio, Enola Gay Orange Smoke, and a gerber multitool.
Fully adjustable to a one-size fits basically all configuration of cross straps and a back strap, the Dank Robber chest rig could be attached to a plate carrier via the buckles, but it’s not recommended. This isn’t trying to be jack of all trades itself into mastering none.
The simplicity of the kit is its strongest point. The Dank Robber fits the bill for a trunk loadout, a contained element within a get-home bag, or as a light patrolling setup. In a world full of overly military-esque nylon gear, it stands out by wasting no time with excessive attachment points or gimmicky features.
Unobtanium Gear Dank Robber Chest Rig
Colors: Black, Green, Wolf Grey, FDE, Coyote, M81 Woodland, Multicam, Multicam Black, Ranger Green
Weight: 12 ounces / 340 grams
MSRP: $90-$100 depending on color
More on Chest Rigs, Body Armor, and Tactical Gear
- Plate Carrier Types: To Each Their Own.
- The Fenris Chest Rig takes cues from Heat.
- How to Set up a Plate Carrier.
- Bullet Proof Vest versus Plate Carrier.
- EDC, Range, and Battle Belts: Defining the Difference.
- Comparing AR-15 Magazines: Best of the Best.
- AR-15 Magazine Pouch Faceoff: Caddies, Pouches, and More.